Best Substitute for The Blank Stare

Well Guys, you have all seen that The Blank Stare simply does not work from the previous report.

So what can we do to defend against the kinds of questions with which we are bombarded on a daily basis whose sole purpose is to destroy a perfectly fine evening or day out with the women with whom we like spending time?

The answer is to ALWAYS answer these loaded questions with other loaded questions.

Using this technique and some patience, it is possible to break most females of asking the following questions:

Do I look fat in this?
How does this look on me?

I have found that the reply: Why are you asking me this question?
is highly effective.

This often forces a 'blank stare' out of the woman. The female psyche, being unable to cope with this foreign condition, spirals into an introspective self-worth assesment cognative loop that is impossible to break. The result is almost one full minute of complete silence which the male can interrupt at any time with the statement: "I love you no matter what you wear."

The female will experience such grattitude at your breaking the loop that the orginal question is forgotten and the male often escapes unharmed. (Note however, that smirking while saying this, or any hint of sarcasm, will destroy the effect.)

The trick of answering all female trap-questions with questions of your own works astonishingly well and in many circumstances. The reason is due to the fact that all women under the age of 45 are at least slightly neurotic. This is what prompted the 'do I look fat?' question in the first place. People who are not neurotic KNOW they are fat and would rather not be reminded, so they also know enough not to ask. The key is to work with that neurosis as a strength in your favor rather than as a weapon against you.

For example: In response to the question - 
"Do you think that the Morning-Dawn Orange blouse or the Rosey Peach blouse looks better?"
(She holds up two yellow orange tops of nearly identical shade, cost, and style...it is a well documented fact that men only have names for 16 colors.)

The correct response is:
"Which color do you like best?"

After a lengthy explanation as to why she is torn between the two colors that you, as a male, are best off just not listening to, she will stop, expecting some sort of insight. (By the way, I'm assuming here that, like most males, you have mastered the ability to look like you are paying attention when you are really not.)

At this point do not panic! Simply ask another question:
"Why do you feel that way about the Peach Blouse?"

Again another 2-3 sentences will follow.

Another question from the male:
"Then if that is the case what is it about the orange blouse that you find troubling?"

An exasperated reminder that the blouse is NOT orange but in fact Morning-Dawn Orange will follow, but usually by this time she will actually express an opinion. You will discover that, in fact, this was a devious test designed to determine whether or not you liked the same thing that she likes. She knew from the start which blouse she wanted. She wanted YOU to pick the RIGHT one! But, as usual, she wasn't going to tell you this. By now though you should get some idea by the way she's been looking at one of the two and by the tone of her voice (you weren't listening to what was being said, remember...in fact the details of what she actually said are largely irrelevant) which blouse she prefers anyway.

You then have to face the choice of making her happy or pissing her off. This choice is directly related to how hard it was to hold in the smirk when you addressed the earlier question about size.

Some women are very very good. They recognize on some fundamental level that you are pulling a fast one and would retort: "You just picked that one because you know I like it!"

This is one place where the 'Blank Stare' actually stands a chance of working.

The questioning technique though ALWAYS works even here:
"Does it bother you that I like the same things you do?"

This question generally terminates such a potentially deadly train of thought.

Hopefully by this time, you have distracted the female sufficiently such that you can steer the general conversation away from such painful subjects as weight, age, and the proper color of anything.

Topics which are pretty safe, just to help my fellow man add to his defensive arsenal, are: The weather, How horrible trash-TV is, and the stupidity of one of her girlfriends (Warning!: Stay away from being critical of her best friend though....pick on any other friend). 
Let her talk about these things while you think about more important issues, making sure to interject the odd comment or exclamation of agreement at the right times.

Well, I hope this helps guys!
Good Luck....we all certainly need it!

BTH