Christmas with Mom and Dad
	(or difficulties in the U.K. for non-Monty Python fans)


	Hi all!
	Well some of you got the Christmas computer letter even though
you also get the e-mails...my appologies for redundant information.

As most of you know, my parents came over here for X-mas and New Years.
They had a ball. The weather even cooperated. It stayed between 40 and
55 degrees the whole time. It was cloudy most of the time, but didn't
rain very much. They were somewhat disappointed that there was not
very much fog. They were definately NOT disappointed in the weather
as a whole as they left 5 deg. temperatures back in Nebraska.

So first they arrive in Gatwick Airport (...yes yes I know, they
should have tried to get a flight to Heathrow...talk to them not me).
But to make matters worse they arrive on the 26th. This is called
'Boxing day' over here.....why I don't know, there were no boxing
matches on the TV to remind us of the Christmas spirit...or VanGough.

Or maybe it's because that's the day 
you have to box everything you got but didn't want
to get ready to take back to the store.  

Anyway, it's a holiday just like Christmas. Great Britian is like
Europe in that you can't get everything done during a holiday that
you can normally....like catch a bus from Gatwick to Oxford, for 
instance. You have to first get a bus to Heathrow and THEN get a 
bus to Oxford.  I had found all this out and told Mom and Dad and
gave them explicit e-mail instructions.  Unfortunately I neglected
to tell all this to the girl behind the information counter at
Gatwick Airport on Boxing day. So Mom and Dad sat for 2 hours waiting
for a bus that didn't run that day....then they caught the bus to
Heathrow and THEN caught the bus to Oxford.  But it all worked out.
We managed to keep them awake by having Christmas when they arrived.

I got Noreen a set of nested tables for Christmas that she didn't 
think I'd get for her. I had made a point of making a big scene
about how poor we were and that we couldn't afford them. Then 
I bought them one day and hid them in the attic. Mom and Dad kept
Noreen occupied so that I could get them down without her knowing.
Then they 'spontaneously' mentioned that it sure would be nice
if they had some good nested tables to set the food on. Noreen
berated me for not getting them, at which point I, after leading her
on a bit longer as to how expensive they were, asked her to look 
in the sewing room. She was pleased.....but not happy about the 
trick we played on her.  

Hey, there's a conservation law involved here.

The next day we went to Stratford to see Shakespeare's town and
to catch 'A Twelveth Night' by the Royal Shakespeare Theater company.
Mom and Dad really loved seeing how people lived then. and Mom and
I liked the play. Dad went to sleep too often (jet lag, and the plot
is pretty complicated for a man who thinks Charles Bronson has depth
as an actor) and Noreen was upset because they did it in modern 
dress, not period costumes.

The next day we took the bus from Stratford to Warwick
(the second 'w' is silent...don't ask me why) Castle. This is a 
medeval castle that has managed to remain virtually intact since
about 1200. It was occupied until the seventies when the family
had to sell it to pay off debts that had been accumulated in
Victorian times by the wife of the 7th or 8th Earl.  She was
Edward's mistress right after Lilly Langtree and lavishly spent
the family fortune dying almost penniless in the early 30's.

The castle has all the stuff from role-playing games. Muder holes,
moat, arrow slits, and a rather impressive dungeon with a full 
complement of torture implements. We didn't have enough money to 
pay to see them in use, and Mom and Dad weren't willing to volunteer
...they wouldn't take me, I was too eager...

Mom donned the armor in preparation to repel the Hordes from the 
house of York...we have pictures, no lie.  The Hordes were so fearful
they didn't show themselves. If the queen had been present I'm sure
she would have christened "Sir Mom of the order of the Garter".

Mom and Dad went up all the stairs marked 'down' and down all the
stairs marked 'up'. Old castles assumed that those who went 'up'
to the battlements weren't coming back...at least not in such large
numbers...so they caused major traffic problems on the ramparts.

Next day we went to Windsor Castle, where H.R.H. Lizzy herself lives.
Much of this castle was built between 1066 and 1300. Noreen wore
her 'I only expect to be treated as one would treat the Queen'
Sweatshirt....I think the Queen was offended because she didn't make
an appearance. Noreen was trying to break the land speed record 
through the Windsor Castle state rooms. With my parents there this
was simply not to be. She gave up on us and waited outside for
about an hour while we finished up. 

There were two things I found really cool about Windsor castle.
1). The bullet that did in Lord Nelson at the Battle at Trafalgar
	is on display there. (I'd guess about 30 caliber.)

2). All the loot that Victoria stole from India and Africa.
	And including an ivory throne...now if you have seen
	pictures of Victoria you can imagine the ivory requirements
	for HER throne must have gone a long way to culling the 
	elephant herd down to the managable few hundred beasts it is
	today....very non-PC.

There was alot in Windsor Castle that was done 
(or re-done) by our favorite King, George III. 
I'm not sure if this relates to the revolution or not. 

Next day we sent Mom and Dad to the Tower of London, unlike 
Mary, Queen of Scots and Sir Walter Raleigh, they came back.
They too were impressed by the solid gold, 55 gallon wassail bowl.

Then went to see Westminster Abbey on New Year's Eve.
I was asked to explain the Dirac equation to the tour group.
See, our friend P.A.M. Dirac has his ashes there next to
Newton. The tour guide (who is a clergy member) pointed out
Dirac's stone. She then asked if anyone in the group new 
any science. I said that I was a physicist. I was then asked
to explain the equation on the stone....of course it was the 
Dirac equation. (wouldn't it have been ironic if they'd put 
Shroedinger's equation on the stone by mistake?) 
I dutifully stopped after each sentence of explanation, but
the guide kept asking questions about it. So I had to explain
that the 'i' was the imaginary number, not a latin 'j'. 
and that the 'm' was the mass, and that
the 'phi' represented the wave function of a spin 1/2 fermion. 
I had to get clear to the fermion part before they finally gave up.
So for those of you who think that this High energy physics 
stuff is useless in the everyday world...you are WRONG!

Mom and Dad claimed that this incident altered the tour significantly
and brought on all kinds of information on the construction of the abbey.
I'm not sure I'd go that far.  Noreen wasn't along by the way, she'd
have been ready to crawl through the floor if she had been.

Slept soundly through New years.

Did Oxford the day before they went home. Mom and Dad like 
Guiness??!! I am appalled. But it does have a coffee flavor and they
drink that swill black, so maybe it's not surprising.

Went to a pub for dinner. For desert I wanted another cider
(Woodpeckers is the name) and just for giggles we had Dad
get us a special English desert....spotted dick.
(a raisin cake covered in custard)

Dad wasn't sure he could remember all the drinks AND the desert.
I pointed out to him that there was spotted dick and wood peckers...
so there was a theme....he had no trouble with the memonic then.

I'm running on. There is one more story that is just a kill that
I HAVE to relate to you at some point. But it would be another
3-4 paragraphs and might as well be saved for another time.

Most importantly, as Joe Steele no doubt has reminded all, 
Nebraska was voted #1 by the coaches!  The API poll just shows
that sports writers don't know anything about football.

Todd