I've recently had to attempt to get British citizens into the US on the 
J1 exchange visitor programme. 

This inevitably leads to filling out a visa application form. 
I am certain that Immigration and Naturalization Services (INS) intends 
this part of the form in all seriousness, especially since they have 
all had their sense of humor surgically removed. It is clear to me 
that the person who thought up these questions should receive a 
medal for their contributions to government insanity. Perhaps we 
should all write the word 'clue' on a scrap of paper and send them 
to INS so that they might get one.

Oh, I should point out, just for the record, that your tax dollars 
have paid for this.  Have a nice day.

...
34. IMPORTANT: All applicants must read and check the appropriate box for
each item:

A Visa may not be issued to persons who are within specific categories
defined by law as inadmissible to the United States (except when a waiver is
obtained in advance) Are any of the following applicable to you?

Have you ever been afflicted with a communicable disease of public health
significance , a dangerous physicals or mental disorder, or been a drug
abuser or addict?

Have you ever been arrested or convicted for any offence or crime even
though subject of a pardon, amnesty or other such legal action?

Have you ever been a controlled substance (drug) trafficker, or a prostitute
or procurer

have you ever sought to obtain, or assist other to obtain a visa, entry into
the U.S., or any U.S. immigration benefit by fraud or wilful
misrepresentation?

Were you deported from the U.S.A. within the last 5 years?

Do you seek to enter the United States to engage in export control
violations subversive or terrorist activities or any unlawful purpose?

Are you a member or representative of a terrorist organisation?

Have you ever ordered, incited assisted, or otherwise participated in the
persecution of any person because of race, religion, national origin, or
political opinion under the control, direct or indirect, of the Nazi
Government of Germany, or of the government of any area occupied by, or
allied with the Nazi Government of Germany, or have you ever participated in
genocide?

A YES answer does not automatically signify ineligibility for a visa, but if
you answered YES to any of the above or is you have any questions in this
regard, personal appearance at this office is recommended. If appearance is
not possible at this time, attach a statement of facts in your case to this
application.

==============================================================

My favorite one is the genocide question. I can just see it now:

Applicant approaches INS desk, which is staffed by a neatly dressed 
woman who is very well versed in rules but less well versed in 
human nature.

INS Officer: Well sir, I see that you have not checked the last item 
in section 34 of the visa application form. Can you explain why please?

Applicant: I'm sorry officer, I just wasn't sure about some of the 
	things in that question.

INS Officer: OK that is fine. Tell me what you didn't understand and 
	I'll see if I can help.

Applicant: OK, In particular I am not sure what you mean by 'genocide'.

INS Officer: Genocide is the attempted mass murder of an entire race,
	ethnic group, or society.

Applicant: Ahh (long pause). How many people does one have to have 
	murdered in order to constitute a genocide?

INS Officer: Well, I'm not sure...it's probably related to the size of 
	group one is trying to wipe out I guess. But probably the 
	smallest number that would constitute a genocide would be 
	a thousand or so. Anything above that I'd say is a genocide.
	(10 seconds of very deep thought.)
	Do you think you may have participated in a genocide?

Applicant looks up at the ceiling, clearly lost in thought, and 
is counting on fingers. Eventually a conclusion is reached and the 
applicant confidently proclaims:

	No, ... Certainly not anything like a thousand.